WAHAHA

The Biggest Threat

previews, saimoe musings

Yet another pre-season preview… no, screw that – let’s get down to business.

Look. We all know Saki will be the team to beat in this year’s tournament. With traditional powerhouses waning and new ones lacking, they could very well dominate proceedings just like Madoka did last year. So, how do we go about countering this?

Stealth assassination

We could sneak someone in to cause damage without them knowing about it. Someone like Akarin from Yuru Yuri would be perfect for this job. Her reputation is rising by the day too – reports in Dream Land suggest that she’s approaching goddess level ever since the second season of YY started airing. However, the Saki camp is well-equipped to counter this threat – they have someone who possesses the same powers as Akarin, and a certain famous well-endowed girl who is immune to stealth.

Enlist the help of Elder Gods

The terrifying Nyarlathotep and Cthugha are available for hire, in moe form. Named Nyaruko and Kuuko, they are trained in various forms of space CQC (closed-quarter combat) and possess various tools that are able to take down their opponents with ease. However, they are weak to forks, and Kuuko’s obsession with Nyaruko might just get in the way of the mission.

Perhaps their distant relative could do the job instead… but she’s too busy trying to invade a beach house (without much success).

Seek help from Reisys VI Felicity Sumeragi

So screw that, we’ll just ask an ancient vampire for assistance. When prompted for a 6-digit password at her lair, enter K-U-K-U-K-U and you’ll be granted entry. Bring along some offerings though, the cute girl in gothic dress might just get mad if you don’t. And don’t bring meat. She hates MEAT.

That said, like most vampires, she’s weak to sunlight …

Maybe I should get the other vampire who’s able to withstand sunlight. You know, the one who likes donuts.

Idol power

Songs can manipulate the mood, and some say it can even make a connection with one’s soul. So let’s hire some idols at 765 Production and disrupt the Saki girls’ tempo. They have some good idols over there, like that blonde one who pops out all over the place. Are you ready? I’m LADY.

Wait, what do you mean they’re fully booked? FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

Serve poison in their drinks

We shall bring the Saki cast over to Wagnaria and proceed with this plan. Yeah you know, that family restaurant with the cute, short waitress named after a poplar tree. As the others are focusing on her and raving at how cute she is, we’ll drop the poison into the jug of water that’s currently being served…

*CRASH*

GODDAMIT YAMADA

Utilize Brain Burst

Kuroyukihime should be able to abuse her Brain Burst points and be a step ahead of the Saki girls all the time. Unlike the stealth assassination plan, I’m sure there’s no one amongst the Saki girls who has a similar power-

Well, shit.

Challenge them to a game of basketball

Since we can’t beat them in mahjong, we’ll challenge them to a game of basketball instead. Tomoka and gang would have no problems beating those Saki girls.

Oh.

I totally forgot that this is a Saimoe competition.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

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